THIS IS YOUR MISSION, IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT.
SOMEWHERE, ROMING THE NET, IS THE MOST EVIL, VILE, CREATURE KNOWN TO MAN. WELL, ONE OF THE MOST EVIL, VILE, CREATURES (I TOTALY FORGOT ABOUT BILL GATES, NINTENDO WORKERS, MICROSOFT WORKERS, AND OLD GUYS WHO PRETEND TO BE TEEN GIRLS). SO WHICH CREATURE AM I REFERING TO?
!THE KILLER BIRD OF SAN JUAN VOLCANO!
THIS CREATURE IS SO HORRIBLY SATANIC IT KILLS ANYONE AND EVERYONE IT SEES SO IT CAN SACRIFICE THEIR SOULS (AND THEIR SOLES, ITS MASTER IS QUITE THE PENNY PINCHER, AND HAS REALLY SMELLY FEET THAT EAT THROUGH SOLES IN MINUTES) TO IT'S LORD, ELMO!
MANY HAVE GONE AFTER THE KILLER BIRD AND HAVE
NEVER COME BACK.
WE HOPE WE DON'T HAVE TO FILL OUT ANOTHER DEATH CERTIFICATE FOR YOU.
REMEMBER, THIS BIRD IS NO NORMAL BIRD, IT'S A COLD BLOODED ELMO-INCARNATE KILLER!
WE WILL EQUIP YOU WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER, A TANK, AND AN AK-47 IN CASE IT GETS TO CLOSE.
ARE YOU READY??